The other night I was at a dinner party thrown by my buddy Steve at his amazing apartment off of Prospect Park.
He made a shitload of brisket, and there were tons of gorgeous accoutrements to go with, and loads of beautiful wine flowing for eternity.
I noticed somewhere in the evening that one of my friends was crushing on me a little, and I couldn't figure it out...until I had the fifth glass of wine. We sat across the table from each other and flirted uncontrollably until I had an epiphany.
"Oh my God!" I shrieked. "You're obsessing about the ass photo!"
He laughed, blushed, and left the table.
The ass photo, unbeknownst to most of you, is a camera phone picture taken many months ago by my ex, in a moment of passion, that is the most amaazing unbelievable photo of my barely clad ass that I have ever seen.
It is so incredible, in fact, that another friend of mine stole it from my phone and forwarded it on to other friends of ours...
It's quite legendary, this photo, and comes up in conversation every once in a while, to which I just fake embarrassment and blush, "aw shucks"
I suddenly remembered that this particular guy friend had exclaimed complete and utter disbelief at the sight of my perfect ass, and had even said to another friend of mine (who I once had a crush on) "Dude, you could have had that."
So as I'm sitting there across from said friend at the table the other night, I recalled that dialogue and called him on it, forever shaming him into admitting that he is slightly enamored with my bare ass.
God I love wine, being a girl, and having a fabulous ass.