Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Je Suis Fatigue

I sit here watching Seinfeld but nothing can penetrate my mind other than the hideous bullshit that floats around and around.

I'm sitting in a fog of disgust that nothing seems to be able to clear. Cigarette after cigarette I smoke, creating even more of a cloud that refuses to dissipate, reminding me that everything I thought I knew has changed.

I fool myself into thinking that life goes on as always, that I am the same person that I was a week ago, a year ago. But I don't feel like me, I feel like I'm faking every living, breathing cell that I expend.

It's tiring.

6 comments:

Irish and Jew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Irish and Jew said...

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, girl. I know it's so corny but as my mom always tells me: This too, shall pass. You will keep living, and you will move on.

And even though today is probably not a great day for you... Happy Valentines day :) You want to be Andy and my valentine??

xoxo Jewey

i like cheese said...

S-thank you darlin'. Some days are definitely better than others!

You and Andy have a great V Day! I've got something up my sleeve..a girl can't sit around and mope forever! ;)

survivingmyself said...

serenity now!!!

DrunkBrunch said...

Thinking of you on this totally ridiculous holiday :)

roopa said...

I wish I lived in Bklyn so that I could go out with you tonight (or any other night of the week, for that matter!)

I love you, Leesy!