I sit here watching Seinfeld but nothing can penetrate my mind other than the hideous bullshit that floats around and around.
I'm sitting in a fog of disgust that nothing seems to be able to clear. Cigarette after cigarette I smoke, creating even more of a cloud that refuses to dissipate, reminding me that everything I thought I knew has changed.
I fool myself into thinking that life goes on as always, that I am the same person that I was a week ago, a year ago. But I don't feel like me, I feel like I'm faking every living, breathing cell that I expend.