Yucko Oko

I was reading Time Out on the train this morning, during the most of horrendous of commutes (serves me right for trying to get to work early, ie by 9 am...I am usually on a much later train, and didn't realize the amount of freaks, psychos and overall miserable people that ride the train so early in the morning...starting with the woman who insisted on carrying the giantest of bags and not holding it close to her in order to not smack people in the ass with it, and ending with the neurotic fuckwad who kept getting bumped with said bag, and turned around like a snippy little sparrow to glare at the Bag Woman with the evilest of eyes...it was quite laughable actually, except that it was also annoying, and in truth, it made me a little bit of a nutter until I could finally get off the subway and escape these clowns}.

ANYWAY...sorry, where was I? Oh yea, Time Out.

It's been a while since I've picked one up, I have a subscription but they end up in a pile next to the bed...I don't have time to read them, much less go out to all the hot new places they keep talking about. plus I pretty much refuse to go out in Manhattan anymore and if I do...I certainly will NOT be going to a place that is going to be knee deep in youngsters trying to be hip. Oh God.

This morning, my eye was caught. I read a little blurb about Oko, a new frozen yogurt joint that happened to be on Fifth Avenue in park slope. Since fro yo is the new crack, according to all the celebs who are photographed holding
pinkberry cups in US magazine, which you KNOW is the bible for all things cool and trendy...I thought it sounded kinda interesting and vowed to check it out next time I was nearby.

Which happened to be tonight. Since I happened to be dining at Cocotte, which happens to be up the street from Oko.

I skipped dessert at Cocotte, which looked deadly and divine, by the way, in favor of checking out the fro yo crack that was calling my name. I should have been warned by the description, "the thick greek variety of yogurt is used as the base for this frozen treat." But I was suckered in, by the fact that the store is "eco-friendly" and they have toppings such as "fresh mango and chocolate ganache".

I will give props to the actual venue, it was very cute, bright, and modern. The toppings were all luscious looking, but damn if I saw chocolate ganache...the serving size was ample, but they only have two flavors at a time...and I asked for the "regular", which is seriously the equivilent of eating Total Greek Yogurt right out of the carton, no flavor, sour as can be...thank GOD I asked for chocolate chips and dried apricot...remember back in the 8O's {most of you won't remember} when frozen yogurt first came to be, and it looked so damn good, all soft-serve and creamy, but you would take a bite and tears would come to your eyes because it was so SOUR? That is what I was experiencing as I walked down 5th Avenue with my new yogurt.

SO much for new, trendy, and crack-like.

If you have a sweet tooth, like me, stay away from Oko.

But if you enjoy your frozen desserts tasting like they came straight out of the cow's teat, sat around in a musty bucket for a while, and then a goat pissed in it, then by all means, check it out. You might just like it.**

**I do realize that Oko is targeted towards people with a much more sophisticated palate than I, and I will fully admit that I am a hillbilly when it comes to exotic desserts. Just hand me a pint of Ben and Jerrys and I'm orgasmic.