Standing on line at my local Key Food, the highly overpriced, understocked one on Vanderbilt.
Behind me, the two cutest people I've ever seen in my life are cooing at each other. She has a Betty page haircut. He has floppy blonde hair. The two of them are making goo goo eyes at each other, making out on line, and just basically inducing vomiting in everyone around them. The items that they have in front of them indicate that they are going home to make a fabulous candlelit dinner for two, possibly after enjoying a raucous, yet romantic evening of fucking, er, lovemaking.
Me, I throw my shit on the counter. It consists of 7 Luna Bars, one lone frozen Lean Cuisine dinner, 2 cans of Fancy Feast, and a pear. And a container of Haagan Dazs {full fat, none of that diet crap}. My provisions SCREAM out "Look over here, yo. She's going home to her CAT. By HERSELF." It couldn't have been more obvious if I had written it in red lipstick all over my forehead.
Why the fuck did I stop ordering from Fresh Direct?
5 comments:
I wouldn't sweat it. She probably has herpes and he'll be out of the closet in a year. You're better off with your cats. And a jar of Nutella.
Ha. Yea, he had a very femme look to him ;)
And Nutella is great, but always better when you have someone to lick it off of!!
I have not thought about Key Foods in such a long long time. Oh... the memories.
you know what, that cute couple from the grocery store...i can almost guarantee that one of them would rather have been going home to their cat. or maybe i'm just hopelessly cynical.
Don't worry about it....You probably just caught them in the "honeymoon" stage, soon enough they will have a boring sex life and one of them will leave or cheat on the other....
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