Tuesday, March 20, 2007

A Mother's Guilt

As most of you know, Igby the Wonder Cat is my pride and joy. As well as being the biggest pain in the ass that ever lived. He's needy. He's codependent. He demands attention 24-7 and he has this annoying desire to lick your entire epidermis off when you aren't looking.

He is awfully cute, though.

At any rate, the little beast is a picky eater, and generally only eats Fancy Feast. The new, fancy kind. That cost a dollar a can and smell like someone vomited crabmeat into a tuna's mouth. I have to feed it to him, or I risk having cat tongue attached to my cheek all night. So stinky Fancy Feast he gets.

The other day, I got the brilliant idea to change things up a bit. I bought some Nutro Classic Gourmet in the pouch. Fishy and in gravy, just like he likes it.

I fed this to him Friday morning, and then skibbled off to work, and then later, to Beehive's house.

After getting Beehive off to bed, I watched the 11 o'clock news and saw the recall. Which included Nutro products. Ack! Leave it to me to switch up my cat's food right when a massive nationwide recall occurs. Only the Cheese...

So the next day, I get home, scared to find my cat on death's door, or worse, already dead, stiff as a board lying in front of his food bowl, eyes open and staring at me with a look that says "Look what you did to me, you evil fuck,"

Thankfully, this was not the case, and Igby the wonder cat was fine.

Mainly due to the fact that of couse, he hated the fucking food, and ate three bites before calling it quits.

Of couse, the guilt has overtaken me, and I am now spoiling the little shit rotten. because "mommy almost killed him"

The other night. Lesty was over to watch The Hills. Igby was perched on top of the couch, humping his favorite fleece blanket.

"What the hell is he doing?" Lesty screamed. He's grinding against the blanket right behind my head! Make it stop!"

But of course, I can't, because Mommy almost killed him.

It's 3am and you're hungry? Mommy will feed you. You want to lick my face until you fall asleep? Go to town. You want to hump my butterscotch bear because you're too lazy to go into the other room and hump the blankie? Go for it.

He is awfully cute though!


Gypsy Filth said...

finally! the post i have been asking for! igby! my cat is fatter.

i like cheese said...

haha! I will have to post the picture of him with his cat boobs.
He's a pretty big boy. :)