Friday, January 12, 2007

A Visit To My Therapist

This morning, while sitting in the rapist's office, I regaled her with tales of my youth. Somehow we got onto the subject of losing my virginity.

"I wasn't having sex in high school," I insisted.

"But you were doing SOMETHING with your high school boyfriend?" she prodded. "Making out at least?"

"Oh sure," I thought back to innocent me, 20 years ago. "I mean, by the end of senior year I was definitely touching his weiner."

The rapist doubled over in such a way I thought I was going to have to perform CPR on her. I realized, after a moment, that the woman was laughing uncontrollably.

"Weiner? Is that what you call it?"

I nodded.

"I guess you have bigger problems than referring to male genitals as weiners." She surmised.

Worth every penny of the $150 an hour I pay her, I tell ya.

No comments: