Monday, January 29, 2007

Happy Endings

Sunday morning. I’ve got a long day ahead of me. 2 hrs in a car with Beehive, his mom, AND his Grandma (who I finally met for the first time, and apparently thinks I am the greatest thing since sliced bread) and a day of schmoozing with various family members during 5 yr old Christopher’s birthday party. All seemed to be moving along smoothly, and then BAM, I go and get my period.

Not wanting to announce to my boyfriend that I am riding the crimson wave, but wanting to allude to the fact that I’m not exactly in top form, I discreetly say to him, “I’ve got cramps.” Shortly thereafter, I let on that I need to pop out for some Advil. I’m thinking I’m being pretty darn obvious, without actually shouting to the world “I JUST GOT MY FUCKING PERIOD.” I don’t know when I became such a delicate flower, since we all know I’m about as subtle as an alcoholic on truth serum…I guess I'll just chalk it up to PMS and move on…

Cut to 12 hours later, during a rather amorous moment. Making out like teenagers on the living room couch, my Beehive takes my hand and leads me back to the bedroom, where more sucking face ensues. It's pretty apparent that he is gonna go for it, and I’m pretty impressed that he is not letting Aunt Flo get in his way—and this makes for a VERY pleasant Sunday night indeed.

I feel a hand make its way into my pants. I feel a hand roaming around, then yank itself OUT of my pants, and I hear a yelp.

“What? What’s wrong?” I panicked.

“I didn’t know what I was touching. It didn't feel right," he had a confused, yet concerned look on his face.

“Whatsa matter? You never touched a tampon string before?” I laughed.

"I just wasn't expecting it, is all," he replied.

Nothing like ruining perfectly good sex with a secret tampon string.

But I'm happy to report that, the story had a happy ending after all.


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