Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Bush Hour

Yesterday I found myself on the 4 train at the height of rush hour.

i don't take the 4 train for a number of reasons. Too crowded, TOO crowded, TOO FUCKING CROWDED. Especially before the 9am hour. Unfortunately for me, that is the hand that was dealt to me that day, so I sucked it up, put my ipod on full blast and jammed out to some Les Savy Fav to tune everyone out around me.

When I got off at my stop, 4 bajillion people got off with me. I tried to dart around all the assholes who were in absolutely NO hurry to get to work on a Monday morning, preferring to shuffle through the subway station like a bunch of zombies. I'm guessing nobody had had a chance to get their coffee yet or else everyone was feeling more than slightly shitty at the financial downturn and disaster we are about to experience. But I digress.

I found myself behind an older gentleman who was carrying a few plastic bags. I was hot on his trail as he moseyed through the turnstile. Right behind him, I pushed through, and then found myself stuck.

Somehow, the old dude's plastic bag handle had wrapped itself around the turnstile while I started to go through it, and after he extricated the bag...the turnstile wouldn't move. I was trapped inside of it, and realized that the only way I was getting out was to do a high kick over the offending piece of metal that had me in its grasp.

As I am known to do, I was wearing the miniest of minis, with the tiniest of thongs underneath, so my high kick was basically a free show to the old man, and basically the entirety of the subway station.

Throw in the fact that I have given up all but the bare minimum of grooming essentials, and well...I'll just let you use your imagination there.

And another case of the Mondays was born..


The Dutchess of Kickball said...

LOL. I am so sorry, but that was freaking hysterical. If that isn't a motivating scenario to make you groom I don't know what is.

i like cheese said...

Totally. That, or time to start wearing granny panties.

magickat said...

You think the 4 is bad at rush hour? Try the S to the 1. That is hell. SHEER HELL! Everyone needs to go to work taking the same trains but no one seems to give a f*ck about getting where they need to go except me.

Plus I get the aded bonus of the Times Square tourist foot traffic underground who

1. doesn't know where to go
2. how to get there
so they
3. form a human wall that is completely impossible to penetrate!