After a bizarre week, and in my opinion, a slightly stressful Saturday night, I had a kickass day with UK. I came home and caught up on Entourage, checked in on the Emmys, read some blogs, listened to some of Remax2's music, and have found myself with the shittiest case of insomnia on record. Which leads to... oh crap, the reflecting and regurgitating of the failures of my lovelife over the last 7 months.
After a bevy of faux/non-relationships and false starts, I find myself pretty much back at square one. This is not to say that I haven't been having fun since becoming single. Believe me, much fun has been had. I'm not knocking the midnight rendezvous and back bar makeout sessions...the dirty emails and even just the new guy friends I've churned out from all of the above...but I'm starting to worry that I'm becoming way too accustomed to living in this sort of unstructured, unconventional "dating" parallel universe.
Not that I can even call it dating. Seriously, when was the last time I went out on an actual DATE? Do guys even do that anymore? ....I can't remember the last time someone fucking called me up and said "let's go to dinner". Or even called me up, for that matter.
I'm the girl that gets the texts at 2am. I'm the girl who is "the other woman". I'm the girl who responds quite favorably to dirty emails, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe he will like me again. I'm the girl who is sort of ok with not getting the fancy dinner or even dinner, at all. I one time suggested a dinner date with someone who I'd been out with BEFORE, and he thought dinner made the date too "important". I do believe the exact phrase he used was "not tenuous". Yet somehow, he thought I was going to end up in his bed. I do not need dinner to end up in someone's bed. But it would be nice.
I haven't had much luck meeting people in real life--that is to say, I meet tons of people in real life, but none of them seem to be overwhelmed by me, or vice versa. I'm starting to wonder if I might be getting reallllllly picky in my old age. Or else I've gotten reallllllly ugly in my old age. Or a combination of the two.
The online dating thing is just getting old, pure and simple. How many more times can I watch myself be rejected, over and over again, on the basis of merely a few pictures and some ridiculous blurb that I have written about myself. It's tiresome. Yet I continue on, in the hopes that maybe I will be one of those success stories that we see in the ads...the douchey couple giving each other moony cow eyes, talking about how crotch.com brought them together. I hate those fuckers. But yet I still want to be them.