Veggie Tales

Yesterday I was really craving a salad from the place around the corner from my office. You know, the one with all the really fancy mix-ins. It even has turkey bacon. Mmm. I had made up my mind early on that I was going to splurge on the 9 buck tub of lettuce and such, and it was gonna be GREAT.

I got to the place, and I was greeted by a nice young man behind the counter who took my order. I got my usual mix of arugula and romaine, and as he expertly stuffed it into the plastic container, I noticed something wasn't right.

He had a large mass hanging from his left earlobe.

It was spongy and sort of crumpled, like a very large wad of gum.

AAAUGH.

It was way worse than this case of cauliflower ear



and nowhere near as bad as this ear tumor on a 19th century Chinese man



But nevertheless, it was difficult to watch a guy with a cauliflower-ish tumor dangling from his fleshy earlobe about to prepare my lunch!

I mean, I like cauliflower in my salad and all.

But cauliflower in my salad guy's ear? Wrong. Wrong wrong all sorts of wrong.

And now I begin my long descent into Hell.