Monday, November 12, 2007

Can You Spare Some Asparagus?

Saturday night my sister and I went to see Bill Maher at the Beacon Theatre.

I myself am not a big fan of Bill Maher, and would not normally have sat through two hours of his ire and sarcasm, but I got my sister the tix for her bday and she asked if I would accompany her to the show.

The need for alcohol was felt all around when the show was over, and we were kinda hungry too, but being on the Upper West Side, I wasn't really sure where to get some grub and a nice, cold beer. As many times as I have been to the UWS in my lifetime, everything always sort of melds together in my mind, and I can never seem to remember where anything is.

The one place that I always seem to end up at is Josies , on 75th and Amsterdam.

When Josie's first opened, probably about 1O years ago or so, we were all very excited about it. It was all organic, quasi-healthy, but the food was actually delicious.

Over the years, the place has gotten way too crowded, and the novelty of organic, quasi-healthy food has worn off, plus it's all so damn expensive--I mean, I'm paying $2O bucks on a turkey burger for god's sake--but somehow, when I'm in the neighborhood, I always end up there, because honestly, I don't know where the fuck else to go!

So, there we went, to Josies. The wait was only a few minutes, so we parked ourselves at the bar, and ordered $7 beers {yes, $7. And those were the cheap ones}. Soon after we got our beers, we were shown to our seats. We happened to get placed next to a large table filled with WAY too happy couples. You know the ones I mean...they were all adorable, one of the couples were the "ones with a baby" and the baby was well-behaved, and the parents still seemed to actually be attracted to each other, and all the friends around them were happy and girls were sitting on their guys' laps and feeding each other. VOM.

We chose to ignore them, and checked out the menus.

Just as I predicted, everything was way overpriced. Until I saw that there was a prix-fixe menu.

I did not know of this prix-fixe menu, and was very excited to note that you could get an app, dinner, dessert, AND a glass of wine for $33.95!

Yea, so it might make me a little early-bird special-esque, ordering from the prix-fixe menu, but whatevs! Girlfriend is poor!

So, my sister and I decided to order the exact same entree--grilled salmon over mashed sweet potatoes and a side of asparagus. How delish does that sound, right?

Our dinners arrived, and we took a good look at our plates.

Grilled Salmon-check.
Mashed sweet potatoes-check.
SIde of asparagus. Nope.

I mean, there was asparagus. Two spears,to be exact. But would one call that a "side"? One would think not.

My sister, never the shy one, called out to our waiter, "Do ya think I could get some more asparagus on my plate?" she demanded.

He assumed an appropriate, empathetic expression and said that actually, she couldn't, because asparagus at this time of year is really expensive, and it was really only a garnish.

Garnish? Garnish is a sprig of parsley, carelessly tossed onto a plate. Garnish is a lemon wedge. Garnish is not yummy, delicious, crisp spears of asparagus!

We shrugged, laughed it off, and continued eating {which was all yummy, garnish or not}.

It was decided that had we not been the cheap bastards that we are, and had we ordered from the regular, non pre-fixe menu, we would have gotten a proper serving of asparagus, with an actual garnish of parsley on the side.

You live, and you learn.


brookLyn gaL said...

Next time try Westside Brewing Company. Or if you just want drinks, go for Dive 75. There's also a ton of places if you walk up and down Amsterdam in the 80s.

kristen said...

you could have always asked me where to go, you know... for the record, i would have happily respected your sisterly bonding time and not tried to intrude (cause i know that's often the problem with asking someone - you feel like you have to invite them. however, i'm secure enough to handle it - i promise ;) )

Geoff said...

how does your pee smell?

i like cheese said...

Brooklyn Gal--thx for the info. I'm sure by the time I end up on the West side again, I shall forget it all. Hahahaha!

Kristen--i'm kind of an idiot, and quite possibly may have even forgotten that you live up there. And duh, you are always invited! ;)

Geoff--From only two asparagus spears? my pee smelt fantastic.

jeff mac, said...

Totally agree about Josie's. I used to go there because my ex lived right nearby for a time. But MAN, have they upscaled.

Last time I was at Josie's the current squeeze and I ended up sitting next to two aspiring trophy wives, clucking away in Russian. (Good luck, you two! Hope you find your mealticket, cuz Josie's don't grow on trees!)

i like cheese said...

Jeff Mac--It totally upscaled, right? I thought I was imagining things, but I sure do remember that it used to be WAY cheaper, and more casual!

I took Beehive there for brunch once (again, was at the Museum of Natural History and didn't know where to go afterwards) and he referred to it as "fancy", at which I laughed. Not so much "fancy", more like "they think who the hell they are" ;)

modelbehavior said...

Exhibit A of why restaurants suck. Good for you sister for saying something! I'm a restaurant complainer veteran - after being viciously abused by half of NYC when I briefly worked in the restaurant industry I figure I'm allowed to.