To the Unsuspecting Women of the W. 73rd St New York Sports Club,
I do realize the terror you must have experienced around 73Opm on the evening of August 9th.
please know that my intention was NOT to parade through the women's locker room, wearing nothing but my birthday suit. I admit, I'd had a particularly frustrating run that evening, and was too preoccupied with checking my voicemail and obsessing about something or other in my highly pms state, to comprehend that I had left my towel in the locker. It was a purely innocent move on my part, as I gallivanted to the shower, all tits and pubes. I am fully aware of the trauma I may have caused some of you, having no choice but to stare unabashedly at my slightly unmanicured bush. It's times like these, dear women, that cause me to appreciate the need for regular waxings.
My faux pas was unnoticed by me until I reached the shower, looked down and said "fuck" to no one in particular. I did try to redeem myself by grabbing a towel on my way back to the locker, in order to not subject you to double the pleasure of my nubile self.
Dear Women of the W 73rd Street NYSC, I hope you can forgive me.
Cheese, who is on her way to get a Brazilian, some lipo, and a tit lift