Thursday, August 23, 2007

Oh Sydney, I'm so Disappointed in You

Since the beginning of time,I have been a complete fanatic about MTVs The Real World. I have obsessively watched, over and over, the comings and goings of seven strangers picked to live in a house. I've had major crushes on several of the guys (DavidJuddNeilRandyAce} and even some of the girls {Jo,honey, call me!}

But as I viewed the third episode of the Sydney installment yesterday, I knew it was going to be the last time I would waste one more second watching these assholes.

I'd rather stick a fork in my eye. Multiple times. I'd rather bang my head into a wall while someone feeds me worms. Yes, I said it,I'd rather eat worms than watch these freaks with their issues continue to act like retarded children on acid.

My first issue with this cast is that not a ONE of them is attractive. If I have to sit and watch their antics for 24 minutes, I want one of 'em to be hot. Slightly hot, easy on the eyes, even. The only one I'd consider having sex with is Cohutta, and that's only if he keeps his mouth tightly shut. And for God's sake, don't wear those fucking overalls!!!

It's the women of the house that I really can't stomach.

I know I know, you're all going "But there's two hot blonde chicks with boobs on the show". Yes yes, I guess there are. They both look exactly alike. I mean, down to the exact shade of bleach they use on their heads. Last night my head was spinning because one of them was talking and they immediately cut to the other one and I couldn't tell who the fuck was who. I think one of them has bigger boobs than the other, which is how I tell them apart...but even then, which is the one with the bigger boobs? Shivaun? Trisha? I really couldn't tell ya. In addition to not being able to tell either of them apart, they are both dumb as nails. I never know what either of them are talking about.

At first, I was feeling for parisa, the "person of color"on the show {I'm giggling as I type this, cuz that girl is whiter than me} , plus she was the only attractive girl in the house. But as I've gotten to know her, I realize that I was grasping at straws, I was so desperate to like someone. Not only is she just not good looking at all, she is delusional. She is in love with Dumb Bar, and writes him a letter telling him so. She tells everyone in the house that there is "chemistry" between them when he clearly can't stand her ugly ass. The look on his face is just classic as he's reading this letter. I mean, wtf, who writes letters anymore? And on paper no less?

In addition, parisa is a hypocrite. She spent all of SHow #1 telling everyone how dumb they were for drinking and getting wasted, yet she had 2 glasses of wine, made a fool of herself, and passed out, and Dumb Bar had to carry her fat ass home. Or was it Isaac?

Kelly Ann is some bimbo from Texas who thinks she is God's gift to Sydney. She is constantly trying to tempt Dumb Bar, who has a serious girlfriend back home, with her evil ways, and she is obsessed with herself. She thinks that everyone hates her because of her looks--I do believe in the first episode she commented that parisa didn't like her because she's "way cuter than her". In addition,last night, as the girls were getting ready to go out {and holy hell I was rolling on the floor in total fits of laughter as I watched them do their hair...I mean, one of them was TEASING her hair.Wha??} Kelly Ann made a comment that they were going to KICK ASS at the bar because they were SO MUCH prettier than the Aussie girls. Do you even know what people in Australia look like? They are generally pretty good looking. Bimbo.

Yea. I'm pretty much done with this season. I guess it was time. Good things only last so long, right?


Ha Ha Sound said...

Yeah, I was going to say that they could liven up the show by getting Australians to live in the house instead of having idiots from flyover country who've never been off the farm before. It's kind of the same every season.

And besides, I agree with you: Aussies usually are really pretty attractive.

Lokey said...

I think Real World Paris was the last season I actually enjoyed. I've watched episodes here and there, but none of the seasons since Paris have really done it for me.

And is it too much to ask that MTV bring back the occasional extremely intelligent cast member?? I like hot dumb bitches just as much as the next guy, but it gets old after a while.

i like cheese said...

HaHa--I wanna say this is the RW where they let people vote online for who they wanted to see in the house...which says a lot about the American public.

I was really surprised that there wasn't one Aussie in the house.

And yes, Aussies are HOT. Smokin. Smokin hot.

Lokey--It'd be one thing if any of them were ACTUALLY hot. And sadly, I think Parisa might actually be intelligent..but they are only showing her psycho side. So sad.

5 of 9er said...

1. This show is still on... really? Wow.
2. There was someone by the name of Ace on the show... really? Wow.

The Bee said...

"the women of the house that I really can't stomach."

Someone shoot me if I have to listen to those bitches whine and cry and fight one more time...