Tall Guy and I went out again on Saturday night.
I wasn't all that surprised that he wanted to go out with me again, I mean, I'm pretty amazing. And our makeout sesh was pretty intense. But ultimately, I knew that there were still issues at hand and that I didn't have much of an argument..I mean, unless I go out and buy some stilts, there's still a foot and a half difference in our heights.
Which, godammit, is so not a big deal to me!
I made him come to Brooklyn because I had been out pumpkin picking all day upstate and I was tired...in fact, I could have just as easily stayed home, but he seemed adamant that he really wanted to hang out again and who am I to say no?
So, I watched him down a shitload of beer. Cuz the guy can drink. I mean, he's really tall. 5 beers in and I'm still sipping my second vodka tonic, and I'm feeling myself getting wasted by the second, while he's staying relatively sober. And the subject of the height thing comes up AGAIN. I wouldn't let him get away with it as an excuse. I was like, "Tell me you don't like me (which you can't) tell me you're not attracted to me (which you are) but for the love of God do NOT tell me I am too short." It doesn't make any sense. To me. Then again, I'm not the one walking around with a 79 inch frame.
I finally decided that he just has issues, period, and told him as much. He didn't disagree with me. So I think we decided to just be friends. Except that he came home with me. And stayed the night. And stayed the morning. And we didn't act like friends, at least not the friends that I generally keep around (ok there's a few of you out there. shut up).
Especially since he spent a lot of time telling me how "different" I am...how he has never met anyone like me...so give the midget a chance, dude!
So I dunno. I hadn't heard from him all week, so I sent him a little email today...I don't even know what the purpose was...I guess to remind him I'm alive? I'm kind of at the point where I don't want to remind someone I'm alive anymore. I want to be chased. Just a little. No more chasing for me.
I've got two different thoughts going through my head. One is that I need to just walk away from this, if he is able to get past his shit, he'll let me know. But then my other thought is the one that is going to end up being the death of me...it goes something like this: "he needs to know how great you are. you need to remind him of how great you are, often, so that he will know that he will be missing out on something if he lets you go."
Yea, forcing someone to like you is one of my strong points, but in the end, never fruitful, and always painful.
He did call. And said something about having to go away over the weekend. So I said "Have fun" and he said "but. I'll talk to you before that."
it's already Weds.
Whatever. I'm not holding my breath. I'm trying NOT to hold my breath.
Meanwhile...there's a perfectly nice guy who keeps calling. And I'm just not calling back. I can't call back...I don't have it in me. He might be the love of my life for all I know and I just don't care right now.
And Remax2 and I are supposed to go biking this weekend. He just called to confirm. Fucking Remax2. I would have killed to have that fuckwad pick up the phone and call me a month ago.
Life. Weird, shitty, freaky life.