Monday, October 13, 2008

You've Got Mail

As you may recall, a few months back my douchebag ex dumped one of our cats back in my lap. I couldn't have been happier to have Bong back, but having to have Douchebag back in my life, even for a mere 10 minutes, was traumatizing at best.

Douchebag texted me a couple weeks ago saying that he could come by one Saturday and bring over a box of record albums that he still had of mine, and pick up a box of stuff that snuck its way into my storage unit all those years ago.

I wasn't thrilled at the prospect of seeing him, yet again, but the thought of having all of my childhood records back - The Monkees, Captain and Tanille, The Osmonds and Shaun Cassidy, to name a few-was thrilling enough that I figured I could endure another 10 minutes with him.

I'm going to spare you all the agony of hearing about our second reunion, because really, how much hatred can one girl spew on her blog? I'm a lover, not a fighter...however, what I'm here to tell you is about what I found in that box of record albums.

It sat on the floor of my bedroom for a week, because I'm lazy like that...and I don't have anywhere to put a stack of records at the moment, so in the box they remained. Until I decided to have a cleaning frenzy and opened up the Pandora's box that lay at the foot of my bed.

Inside, I was greeted with 2 years worth of my mail.

Magazines, Christmas cards from people who didn't know I had moved, a box of cookies that a friend had baked and sent to the wrong address by mistake, junk mail, lots of junk mail....the icing on the cake was a bill from a hospital that did not know I had relocated, and sent me REPEATED requests for payment, which of course went unheeded, so I then received a stack of correspondence from a collection agency..again, unheeded. Another lovely gem that I found was a repeated request from the county clerk's office to fill out a form for jury duty, which of course I did not do. So the last correspondence from THEM is that if I do not show up in court by April 11, 2006, I am subject to a $1000 fine.

Two years worth of mail shoved into a box and handed to me as if this were a perfectly sane and natural thing to do.

I mean what the hell am I supposed to do with 2 year old cookies and 10 Shape Magazines from 2006?

I know it wasn't his duty to monitor my mail, but I honestly didn't realize that I was even still getting mail there. I had since moved, changed the address on all my important stuff...changed my address on my drivers license...I would like to think that if he noticed something important (ie a bill from a collection agency, or a last notice from the county clerk's office) that perhaps he could have let me know, but apparently shoving it in a box and moving it around multiple times was clearly easier to him.

All I want to do is write him a scathing email but honestly, what would be the point.

What is the MATTER with people?


Musicgurl said...

Those weren't my cookies were they? Boo hiss to wasted baked goods.

Your ex sounds like an inconsiderate tool, you're much better off without him.

Elena said...

You should put in a change of address form with the USPS (I think you can even do it online now) to make sure it doesn't happen anymore. Yes, even now.

And, if it makes you feel better, the same thing happened to me with my douchebag ex and a collection agency (I give my unsolicited advice from experience).

TryItAgain said...

From what I've read about this guy - he probably thinks doing this was something nice. But the cookies?!

i like cheese said...

MG-totally were your cookies. I was so PISSED!

Elena-yea, the reason why I didn't do that from the get go is that I changed all the important stuff...and for a while he and I were in constant contact and I WAS getting my mail from him...but yea, I guess better late than never.
And thanks for the advice. :)

Try it Again-This guy doesn't do ANYTHING because he thinks it's nice. He is not capable. And YEA...the cookies...

Musicgurl said...

Duuude not my cookies. I remember being kind of upset when I didn't hear from you because I thought you were mad at me or something.

Next time I bake some cookies I'll send you a replacement box. ;)

Kaylen said...

This totally sounds like my ex, who is better called a sociopathic douchebag.

Two points:
1) Two effing years??? Who saves anything that long, much less stuff that isn't theirs and they aren't doing anything with??
2) Seriously---why didn't he just eat the cookies??? There's something wrong with this guy!

Wendy said...

What a douchebag.