I've got a friend coming to visit that I haven't seen in probably 6 years or so...we reconnected on Facebook last year and she decided she was overdue for a visit. Which is really cool and I'm excited to see her.
However, being in the contemplative mood I've been in of late, of course her visit stirs up so many things within me, as well as she is going to make me see friends of ours that I sort of snuck away from long ago, for reasons that I can't really explain.
D, like me, is single and fabulous. Our mutual friends, who she is going to drag me to lunch with over the next few days, are married, with snotty little kids and homes in the suburbs. As I haven't seen or talked to these people in several years, not only am I going to have to sit down and go through my entire 8 yr break up and Beehive breakup, I'm going to have to regale them with my dating nightmares so they can all "live vicariously" through me, their crazy, single friend. Look at Cheese! She's like our own personal Carrie Bradshaw! How quaint!
Except that the minute they turn their backs, they are going to snicker at my singleness. It's going to seem sad, I'm going to seem sad. My eggs are shriveling up by the second. I live alone with my cat, in Brooklyn for God's sake. How oh, so very sad.
Sometimes I agree with them. It does seem sad. But if I wanted what they have, i would have settled for the wrong guy, 20 years ago. Just like they did. And THAT, to me, is sad.
Of course, I can just tell them that I've become a lesbian since they last saw me. See how they like that.
On a sort of related note...since my life has become sort of meaningless and empty...I've been looking into some volunteer abroad programs. Not the Peace Corps or anything like that, but something that would send me away for a couple of weeks, a month. Just to get me the fuck out of here, out of this rut, out of my boring job, out of my boring mind.
Anyone out there done anything like that? I'd love to hear about it.