Thursday, July 17, 2008

Girl You Know It's True

I was sitting in what used to be my favorite bar (mainly due to the fact that I was unhealthily obsessed with the hot young man who tended said bar) with a couple of friends playing catch up. These friends are both in relationships-one of them has been married for quite some time-so, of course, I performed the "Cheese Dating Monologues" as I seem to be doing a lot of these days.

I had them in stitches over all the mayhem and mishaps of the last six months...and then I noticed that a guy at the next table seemed to be mesmerized by my every word.

I had noticed this guy when I was over at the bar getting drinks. Not because I was interested in him, but for some reason he and the woman he was with really stood out to me. Either way, I guess his date was in the bathroom and he was bored, so he held onto every word I said, which isn't hard to do, since I AM pretty fascinating.

Mid-sentence, I was suddenly aware that the guy was now at my side.

"You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen," he whispered in my ear. "Please take my phone #."

My first thought was to blurt out, "Aren't you on a date???"

Apparently, he was not on a date. Apparently, he was out with a "client", a stylist to the stars of some sort.

I was a little tipsy at this point, and didn't really know how to react to any of this, but somehow, the guy had me whipping my phone out of my bag and next thing I knew, he had entered his number into my phone, and then called his phone with my phone. Oy vey.

"My name is True, and I have been listening to your stories about dating. And you need to know that I would never treat you like any of those guys. I would treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

At this point, I can't decide which is more heinous, that he now has my phone #, or that his name is True. Either way, I think I might have been laughing in his face a little. I tried really hard not to, because any guy that can recognize my stunning good looks is a-ok in my book! But then the name dropping started. He brought over his "client" who proceeded to tell me how the first time she ever met True, he was in a limo with a very famous late night tv if this was supposed to impress me.
They then added that they were on their way to A-Rod's party. To which I quipped, "Oh is Madonna going to be there?"

"No, I doubt it" True answered, very seriously.

He then leaned over and reminded me yet again of my stunning beauty, and that he was going to call me soon.

"Say hi to Madonna for me!" I shouted after him.

True and his "client" then headed off for their shindig, and we watched as they stood outside the bar and began to make out.

Gosh. I really hope he calls.


The Dutchess of Kickball said...

O.M.G You really can't make this shit up.

brookLyn gaL said...

OMG SHE IS SO HIS WINGMAN!!!!!!!!! With benefits.

kristen said...

wow. you gotta love new york, cause shit like that just doesnt happen in the 'burbs...

emily said...

True dat!


Lioux said...

Apparently 'Trioux' believes he's treating you 'the way you deserve to be treated.'

Oh. And never date someone who is an actual cigarette brand.

Unless it's 'Marlboro'.

Lioux said...




Is Trioux a male prostitiute?

i like cheese said...

Girls, you know it's true ;)

And Lioux..2 things: 1) True may very well be a male prostitute, in which case I feel cheap and used, and 2) I MIGHT consider dating someone named KOOL.

roopa said...

and to think that i had forgotten about YOGI!!!

i like cheese said...

How the hell could you forget about that hot piece of nordic man? He is unforgettable! ;)

Lioux said...

KOOL sounds HOT!!!


DrunkBrunch said...

Shut the front door! You MUST let us know when he calls.

So@24 said...

Hold on... writing down these dating tips on back of arm...

Subway Gal said...

First important question, was this guy hot? I find that it's always the not-so-good-looking-guys who always say things like that to me. They got some big ones. Anyway, I think I may have gone along with him and his f*ck buddy to the party (but of course taken my own friend as a precaution) because of the potential stars and swag and the chance to give my story to Page 6. But this guy was obviously shady, so good for your for having more self control than me and not going.

i like cheese said...

DB-Can you believe the fucker never called?! haha.

So@24-Here's a pen! ;)

Subway Gal-The guy might have been hot to some, but either way, I've got a full plate right now, and no room for more! Ha!