Sunday, June 15, 2008

Facing my Fears, One Ex at a Time

On my way to the subway to meet my family for Father's Day brunch, I looked up to see an arrogant swagger, longish hair, and a scruffy beard that seemed oddly familiar. And then I realized it was my 8 yr ex.

My 8 yr ex and his new girlfriend. His much younger, bright red haired, multi tattooed girlfriend. Or maybe even live in lover, or wife. Who knows, since we haven't spoken in two years.

They had just turned off of Flatbush Ave and rounded onto 7th Ave, so they missed me by a hair..not that it would have mattered...he would have looked me full in the face and probably just kept on walking with no sign of any kind of emotion or recognition.

I ducked into Duane Reade, my eyes blurred with tears which kept me from being able to find the pain reliever section. Because suddenly I had the biggest headache of my life, and I don't think it was a coincidence that it appeared right then and there.

I texted my friend Married, who was probably the closest to the two of us during our 8 year tenure. She called me immediately.

"Why are you so upset?" she asked. "You've seen him before. You've known he had this girlfriend."

I thought about it for a minute, because truthfully, he and I mutually broke up, we were not in love anymore at the end, and I haven't missed him in the 3 yrs that we've been apart.

I thought about it some more, and then I said, "It's because, as much of an asshole as he is, he found someone. And I have not."

The truth hurts, man.


Susan said...

Oh, man. Can I relate to that reaction! Hang tough.

i like cheese said...

Thanks lady! Hormones plus hangover equals inexplicable emotional outbursts! I'm ok now :)