Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Today's one of those days that I just can't get motivated for.

I woke up this morning, and realized that I'd finally kicked this 2-week long flu/cold/plague that I'd had..but that it was replaced with a migraine and feeling of nausea.

The migraine and feeling of nausea may stem from finding out that one of my relatives is dying. Well I knew he was dying, but now he has an actual death sentence.

I can't even imagine how it feels to be told that one has 2 months to live. How do you take that? What goes through your head when someone tells you this?

I always said that if I was dying of something I wouldn't want to know, because it would be better to just drop dead one day so that I could live my life normally...knowing me I'd spend my last waking moments obsessing about my own death.

Or would I? Maybe I would actually do all the things that I keep saying I'm going to do. Maybe I would make my life worth living somehow. I'd write that stupid memoir....do something meaningful to help others...enjoy every minute I was on this earth with no regrets. Make amends with people who I wronged or who wronged me. Eat a LOT of fucking chocolate. Fuck a lot of guys. A LOT. Without condoms. Tell the people I love that I love them, all the time.

Maybe I'll just do all that anyway. I mean, I could be dying. It's not like anyone is going to tell me!

1 comment:

beagle said...

Damn, that's sad. I am sorry.