Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I Got Myself A New Hobby, It Seems

I've never been a big fan of video games. I'm not really sure why. I grew up in the 80's, when Atari was like the hottest thing since peanut butter and jelly..but my parents, who considered themselves "intellectuals", wouldn't allow us to have one. I, of course, would get my Frogger or Space Invaders fix while visiting other, more lucky children who were allowed to have such things, but ultimately, I was more of a Barbie girl, and the whole video game obsession never really caught on.

Last night, I went over to visit my Beehive, after not seeing him for over a week.

After amazing, mind blowing sex, and me passing out like a dude, he made me a grilled cheese and said "wanna play Grand Theft Auto Liberty City?"

My heart raced. I started to panic. I know nothing about these newfangled video games. I can barely drive a real car, much less maneuver a CGI version through the dark streets of Liberty City. I stared at Beehive and stuttered, "I'll just watch you."

We flopped on the floor, me lying on my stomach, him cross-legged next to me. As he nimbly worked the controls, he explained every scene to me in great detail. It scared the fuck out of me. There's like 8 million buttons and knobs on the little console. Whatever happened to the one joystick and a red button? My head was spinning.

Suddenly, he is putting the controls in my hand. "You try."

I hesitated, frightened to touch anything. What if I blew up the whole house by pressing the wrong button? I did not want to be responsible for that.

With a little guidance, and switching me out of the hot sports car and into an old man type of car, I was on my way. I had no idea where I was going, or what my purpose was, but I was FLYING in my old man car. And every once in a while, I got out and punched an old lady, just because I COULD. Damn, I was COOL.

I got wasted a couple of times which was quite frustrating but did not stop me from going back for more. I was a Grand Theft Auto whore, there was no denying it.

Maybe next time, we can get a few rounds in BEFORE the fucking. PS2, it's the new foreplay.


Anonymous said...

I just want to state that we were not on the floor, we were on my lovely Martha Stewart floor pillows.

i like cheese said...

I was sitting on MARTHA STEWART pillows???

I need to go wash my ass...