Saturday, March 28, 2009

It's Not Me, It's You

The dating website that I fondly like to call "crotch.com" and I are through.

I'm pretty sure that this is a permanent breakup. We've parted ways before, only for me to go crawling back with my tail between my legs, promising that this time will be different. No, really.

I can honestly say (this blog is proof) that in the last 12 months I have gone out with approximately 25 men. Most of them one-offs. Or jerk-offs, whatever the case may be.

I'm tired of getting that stupid little email everyday: "Here are your Top 10 matches that we've chosen for you", laden with men who are anything but a good match for me. I'm tired of getting emails that go like this: "U R Beautiful", from men who are half my age and cannot spell. Or emails from men who are twice my age and look like they are about to croak. I'm tired of reading one more profile that says "I like to go for long walks on the beach, and explore all that the city has to offer." Who the FUCK DOESNT LIKE LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH, I ask you? I loathe when I take the time to write a perfectly crafted note to someone, making a point of mentioning something of interest in their profile, making a silly joke, clearly I am a woman with a brain AND I'm cute...just look at my pictures! And then I see that they've viewed my profile, and moved on.

I have no idea what these assholes are looking for. I am attractive, I am funny, I am clever. I have looked at other women's profiles..thinking maybe everyone on here is a fucking model. Maybe they are all neurosurgeons, have PhDs, clearly they all have something that I don't...but in viewing other women's profiles I see that there is a wide array of females looking for love, and I am definitely in the top tier of those women, if I do say so myself.

Perhaps if I spent less time worrying about what people who don't even know me think of me, I would pay a little more attention to what is going on down here in the real world, and eventually, Mr Right will make an appearance in 3D, rather than in a little postage stamp sized picture on my 12-inch screen.

5 comments:

just bob said...

Probably the same website I gave up on a year ago after getting no responses from women, no replies to email messages, and an overall "I'm good enough to be picky" standoffish attitude.

i like cheese said...

Yea, it's frustrating on both sides of the coin, I imagine. Here's to meeting someone in real life!

Digital Fortress said...

I am sometimes embarrassed to admit that I met my better half through a dating website. She sent me a message on the day I was going to cancel the service and the rest is one of those sappy dating.com commercials. It was either fate, just plain dumb luck or perhaps a little of both.

i like cheese said...

Nothing to be embarrassed about. I obviously have no luck with such things, but it never stopped me from trying :)

annie said...

You are just finding the wrong men....there will come a day...when you don't have to be purposely, clever, crafty, cute,or a super model and you will attract someone just because they like yo just the way you are!! There is someone out there!