The Staten Island Zoo

The big hit of my Labor Day weekend was not my stay at a luxe beach house in Westhampton. It wasn't my trip to the beach where I had a delectable Chipwich. It wasn't even my post-bang pukefest . No, my favorite part of my long weekend was most definitely a jaunt to the Staten Island Zoo .

I'll bet you didn't even know there WAS a zoo on SI, did ya? You and I were of the same camp, my friends. However, those in the know are well aware that not only is there a zoo on SI, but there is a handy dandy bus that takes you right to the front of it, for a mere metrocard fare.

I'm a huge geek at heart and get strangely giddy at knowing these kinds of things--just as a sidenote.

Any which way, I woke up Monday am in my usual cranky fashion, freaking out that the summer was over and I had 9 months to wait until it was to return. Instead of letting me wallow in my self-pity, Beehive got me off my ass, onto the S-53 bus, and to the island of Staten faster than you can say "meerkat".

The first thing that struck me is that there are peacocks that wander around the grounds, unassuming as can be.

This one greeted us at the entrance.



Once inside, we watched a family of prairie dogs chowing down



We encountered a red panda




and some otters





The zoo is internationally renowned for its reptile collection, and as we walked through the building that housed all 32 types of rattlesnakes, I was pretty impressed. Unfortunately, there seemed to be quite a few of them who had tummy aches, as they hadn't indulged in lunch, which to my chagrin, was left in their tank--dead rats and mice. Yuck.

Out of all of the deadly snakes and lizards that we passed by, the one animal that caused me to actually start hyperventilating was this motherfucking green moray eel.


The 3 feet of glass in between us was not enough to convince me that this beast was not going to somehow find its way into the great wide open and wrap itself around my neck and suffocate me.

I'm happy to report that the zoo also has a children's area, and that Beehive and I were without a doubt the only adults there that were not escorted by rugrats. Like I could care--I got to feed a llama with severely buck teeth




And we now know what the term "hung like a donkey" really means.



My absolute new animal obsession, hands down, is this little guy


the fossa is sort of like a cross between a cat and a monkey. In one instance, it was rolling around on its back like a kitty, but it has a long-ass tail like a monkey, and maneuvers like one as well.

A good couple of hours were spent roaming around the zoo, and after posing for a picture with a giant turtle, it was time to get back on the S-53 bus and head back to the land of Bay Ridge. A chicken roll from Casa Calamari for him, a giant sandwich from the Italian Deli for me, and the day was complete.