This Takes the Cake

There is nothing fun about trying to be social when one has decided to curb oneself of all unnecessary eating and drinking.

It's even less fun when the "one" is me!

Fuckin' scale…how I hate you. I ignore you for weeks and weeks on end, and when I finally decide to show you some love, you turn on me. How dare you tell me I gained six pounds? Couldn't you just let me down easy? Three would have been fine. Three would have been fixed after taking a big nasty dump. Six, on the other hand, is just plain awful. Don't you know how long that could take to lose?

So there you go. Between the loss of memory skills, and the additional six pounds on my already curvaceous bod, I've decided to have some good sense and chill out with the carbs and booze.

Last night, a friend of mine had a bunch of us over for dinner. I had thought to myself that it might be best if I don't go, for numerous reasons, but then realized that I needed some hang time with my friends.

Well, one thing that you notice right off the bat when you're swearing off the liquor is that, holy fuck, people sure do drink a lot.

I met up with Kiki and we traveled down to the Evil together, and as we sat on the L train from 7th Ave, Kiki recalled how she and AA drank WAY too much last Saturday, and how ill she was Sunday am, and how the malaise carried over to Monday and she really thought about even calling in sick.

Kiki walked into AA's apartment last night and announced how she was going to take it easy, since last Saturday was so out of hand.

But I sat in awe as I watched the two of them share 3 bottles of wine between them in a span of an hour or so, and another friend downed six beers in the same amount of time.

THIS is taking it easy???

I don't pay attention to such things, as the norm. I mean, I certainly wouldn't want any of my friends to keep score of all the dirty martinis that the Big Cheese can ingest in one sitting. And besides, they're all too busy getting their own drink on to care.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging my friends, or anyone for that matter, who drinks, just because I've decided to curb my own. I'm just shocked, when really taking a look around me, at how much we all do throw back!

Cut to the end of dinner. AA brings out a delicious, juicy-looking chocolate cake, the likes of which I can NEVER say no to. I didn't have any. My red-faced, wine guzzling Kiki shrieked, "Whassa matta with you? You not eating CAKE?"

Believe me, I would love to have my cake, and eat it, too. But this time, I am sticking to my guns.

You all can drink to a happier, healthier, skinnier Cheese. And I'll sit back and watch. :)