Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Sexting Your Ex (and, other things not to do in a snowstorm)

So, I've been snowbound pretty much the entire day, as of much of NYC. For most people this is a welcome treat, but for me, being that I do not work right now, it has been hell. Pure, unadulterated hell. Think about the boredom to end all boredom, and then add infinity to it. That is my day today.

Well, when one is bored, what is one to do? I forced myself to go to yoga, and that was great, but that was at 830 this morning. So now I've got 8 million more hours to go before I can go to sleep, and wake up tomorrow and hopefully be able to leave the house without being pelted by snow/sleet/precipitation.

To be fair, I met a guy over the weekend who asked me to go skiing with him today. And we called each other at the crack of dawn and discussed the skiing, and I decided that I most definitely did NOT want to be stuck at some slope with this guy should the snow get worse and we not be able to drive home later today. So I put the kibosh on skiing.

Said guy asked me if I wanted to hang out later today, but my response? "Dude, it's 730am, I'm going back to bed. And you should do the same."

Yea, not so much into the skiing guy.

Birthday Present and I decided to call it quits last week. There were so many reasons, and yet not that many reasons. I still like him, and he still likes me. We still talk just as much as we did before, and we still want to hang out, as much as we did before. I think we still want to have sex with each other, judging from the fact that we spent most of the afternoon discussing the porn that I was watching and, probably, attempting to get him to come over and watch it with me.

Well, that didn't happen, and the afternoon just wore on, until a friend of mine came over and we started to drink, and then her boyfriend came over, and we drank some more, and seeing them together reminded me of yet again how everything is a-changing. How most everyone I know is pairing up, and I, again am not.

One of the things that I realize I do is attract people who are not, in any way shape or form, available. Somehow this might seem like a challenge to me, but I don't even do it on purpose.

After a conversation I had later on in the evening, again provoked by boredom and fueled by lots of vodka, I realized that I do come across as the girl who might provide a needed distraction to men who are not ready for commitment, or who want a piece of dandy candy on the side.

As much as it feels good for the short-term (oh, what? he likes me better? he likes me,
period?), I am not interested in being that girl, now, or anymore.

If it means that my life will be quiet, vanilla, and drama-free for a while, so be it. I want more, I know that life throws us curve balls and we don't know where they will land, but I do not want to be anyone's back-up plan anymore.

3 comments:

Love Cynic said...

Cheese: your life will never be quiet, vanilla and drama-free! But you totally deserve someone who wants you as their primary plan, and who doesn't create unnecessary drama in your life.

The Angel and Demon Within said...

I'm at an age where I can look back at my younger days and see all the things I did wrong. My advice to you is to not waste your time on guys who are not perfect for you. Set your standards high. You may go out on fewer dates but think of all the other things you can be doing instead of wasting time on some guy who will end up being a jerk next week, next month... Good for you that you are done being the back-up plan!

Suveeran said...

after all Einstein said at last "every thins wrong". So i am not going to wait until the 'last'.