Cramming it all In

I just checked the date on my last blog post, and oddly enough it has only been a week since my last ramblings. This doesn't seem possible, but perhaps this is because so many things have happened in those seven days, I don't know how I crammed it all in.

Let's see, there was a milestone birthday, a few dates, a triathlon, a "breakup", and a booty call.

Yea, I'm pretty special.

The Birthday
For the last several months I have been anticipating the dreaded birthday; the day that I would be crossing over into a decade that seemed highly impossible. Not only that, I was entering it alone, no relationship to be had, none even percolating on the horizon.

Turns out that this birthday was just as good, if not better, than any other birthday. I threw myself a giant party. My bestest of friends came and bought me shitloads of booze and gifts and surrounded me with love and hope and yes I'm getting supremely sappy right now. But it wasn't nearly as traumatic as I imagined it would be (other than that fucking balloon) and to be honest I don't feel any different. So, until I break a hip or need to start buying Depends, I'm only as young as I feel, right?

On the actual day, I took off from work and spent the day prepping my bike for my race, and then met my family in the Evil for dinner at the most amazing Greek restaurant ever. 2 glasses of Greek wine later, I was buzzed, and insisted that my sis get a drink with me at this place, which has become filled with horrible frat boys in baseball caps. Yuck. One of them came over and slurred out some incomprehensible conversation before picking up my sister's drink and gulping the whole thing down.

We left after that.

Which was fine, because I had a

Date
...well, it wasn't a date, exactly, but Rock Star had finished a gig and wanted to hang out afterwards. So I showed up at his place, all decked out from dinner, and we sat on his floor guzzling beer and listening to music. Four hours into it I realized it was 1am and I really needed to get home. A peck on the lips and I was in a cab...guessing we were just going to be friends, until I got a text five minutes later that read "next time, less talking, MORE KISSING". Heh.

The next day I had an afternoon date with Boring Guy. I don't think I've ever mentioned him here. I went out with him probably 3 weeks ago, I was definitely attracted to him physically, but wasn't sure about his personality...yet. We've IM'ed everyday since then and FINALLY made date #2. My boss actually dubbed him Boring Guy, and after our second date I congratulated her on being right on with her nickname.

Her: So how was Boring Guy?
Me: Well. I can't stand to listen to him talk for more than 10 minutes. But I made out with him and that was good.
Her: So couldn't you just do THAT next time?
Me: Eh. Probably not.

So that sums up Boring Guy.

Triathlon

Sunday was my second NYC Tri, and it was a doozy. Between the jellyfish, my bad ankle, the 95 degree weather, and my almost flat bike tire, it was quite the feat to get through it all. But I managed to not get stung, ignore the ankle, hydrate myself and kick ass even WITH the mushy tire, and take 10 minutes off of last year's time. Woohoo! I was met at the finish line by a group of friends who were brave enough to get up at the crack of dawn, stand outside in the scorching heat, and patiently wait for me, the slowest runner in the world, to finish. Beers at the Boat Basin never tasted better, and Kristen was nice enough to take me up to her place and shower so I wouldn't be gross! Yay!

The Breakup
Remax2 had been trying to call me for a while because he wanted to "talk". Which freaked me out. WTF did he want to talk about? He finally got at me at some point over the weekend, to tell me that he'd met someone else, but he really wanted to be friends.

I think that was the first time in my history of dating that I was dumped by someone I wasn't actually in a relationship with. It was..interesting.

Booty Call

I don't think you need me to spell it out for you. Let me just say, it was real, and it was spectacular. ;)

40 Going on 12

Last night I was surrounded by the most amazing of friends, helping me celebrate my upcoming milestone birthday.

People brought cupcakes and presents, and one of my friends attached a mylar balloon to her gift. And there it stood, all night, like a beacon, drawing attention to my impending middle age and closeness to death, for all the bar to see.

One by one friends were handing me blue cocktails (and one fiery shot with a roasted marshmallow) until I couldn't see straight. I literally seemed to lose all of my faculties little by little, as would be expected of an old person. First to go was my speech (I was told by my sister that I had a stuttering problem that she never noticed before. Apparently I spent a lot of the evening going Ka Ka Ka, trying to spit out her name and not getting very far. Nice). Then went the ability to walk straight. Then I started dropping things, such as glasses..I watched them slip out of my hand and onto the floor, or in one case, on S&M's shoes...lovely Blue Hawaiian all over his Cole Haans...

Throughout the evening, I stared at that balloon, just floating up there, taunting me. Nyah Nyah it said. You are OLD.

I grabbed Akat and Kiki and told them the balloon needed to go. I just couldn't look at it anymore.

Akat had an idea. She checked around to make sure no one was paying attention, grabbed the balloon, and shoved Kiki and I out onto the sidewalk. She then proceeded to poke a hole in the balloon...and one by one, we sucked the helium out of it. In our Mickey Mouse voices we shouted, "Fuck forty! Fuck this balloon! Fuck everything!" and giggled like a gaggle of schoolchildren.

It was my first time "doing" helium. And it was, most def, the highlight of my night.