ho ho heel
What in God's name am I going to do with one of these???

Other than parade around in those and some pasties, of course.
Honestly, do people really buy these {at $2O-$3O a pop, mind you}? Is there really someone out there who is right now saying to themselves, "I think it would be a real hoot to hang some sexy lookin' shoes from my fireplace mantel and call them stockings. How quaint. How risque."
This is the sort of thing I would imagine that Anna Nicole Smith might have had hanging in her home. Nuff said.