tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377367172024-03-13T13:02:21.553-05:00Some Things are Better Left UnsaidBut leave it to me to always say them.i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.comBlogger295125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-50633019290291839072012-03-08T21:24:00.000-05:002012-03-08T21:24:02.635-05:00Marching to the Tune of a Different DrummerIn the last few months, I've had various friends get engaged, married, pregnant, buy homes, and do other grown up activities that I have yet, if ever, to do.
It's no secret that I have a weird phobia about marriage and having children and just being a grownup in general. I have been proposed to once, had two long-term live-in boyfriends, and I am all about being in relationships. I'm good in a i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-58134428744478463412012-02-07T03:56:00.000-05:002012-02-07T03:56:34.007-05:00Eye Eye EyeWell, it's 3:30 am so what better time to start writing again than now? I tried with all my might to go back to sleep but it ain't happening so lucky for you all I've got some stuff to say.
I really thought I had posted more recently than Thanksgiving-how the fuck did 2 months go by I'll never understand but believe me I thought about it a lot-- I guess thinking and doing are two totally i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-51464612148946117252011-11-27T22:18:00.000-05:002011-11-27T22:18:39.604-05:00Giving SpanksI'm not usually a big fan of the holidays. So much ado about nothing, I say. Scroogey McScrooger over here hates the fake sentimentality, the commercial superficiality, the giving of meaningless gifts because it's expected. I also have a new reason to hate the holidays-I'm scared to fucking shit that I'm going to become a whale after spending days upon days eating and drinking myself to oblivion.i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-34463505647898154232011-11-22T20:55:00.000-05:002011-11-22T20:55:51.386-05:00Martini MusingsWhile I munch (yea, I said munch) on my kale salad and plain baked potato, I sit down to the very daunting task of catching you all up on my last few months. And by you all I very definitely mean all 3 of you, but I know there are at least 3 of you, so I'm sure you're a little curious to know how I'm faring with all the "I can't breathe" anxiety bullshit, and everything else.
Well, let's start i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-22275755100407294672011-10-07T22:22:00.001-05:002011-10-07T22:25:20.823-05:00My Body is a Temple of DoomEvery couple of years I go through the most annoying phase where I have strange, debilitating panic attacks. These are absolute bitches, causing me to question my health and my sanity, causing me embarrassing moments in public, and causing me to become a hermit because I never fucking know when it's going to hit or why.
These are of a different calibre than the others, as they start with me i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-35267881510052153902011-02-16T21:26:00.000-05:002011-02-16T21:26:05.251-05:00He Said, She SaidThe Birthday Present and I have been in a relationship for almost a year now. The first six months before that don't count, since we "sort of" broke up for a month in between, but I think we have determined since sometime in March of last year, we've been "back together".
Of course, while it was all happening, neither of us would dare to call it anything, or make a big deal about it, or even i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-72594902492633821182011-01-22T16:10:00.000-05:002011-01-22T16:10:05.651-05:00Be Still My HeartAlthough I've had (shitty) insurance for the last year and a half, I truly hadn't set foot in a doctor or dentist's office in that entire time. My last gyno appointment was in December of 2008, where I left with a mammogam prescription in hand, that ended up hanging on my refrigerator with a souvenir magnet from London. I kept getting postcards from the dentist, asking, no BEGGING me to come in i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-75846121976408908862011-01-17T19:41:00.000-05:002011-01-17T19:41:24.222-05:00Me, Myself and IIt has been a looooong time since I've been up in here. Too long maybe, I almost feel self-conscious trying to write. I made an attempt at starting up again a couple months back and ended up deleting what I wrote. I don't know when I became so overly aware or overly ashamed or overly censoring of my writing, I mean this is Vulgar Truths dammit! Some things are better left unsaid, but leave it to i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-1204951514687657602010-04-05T13:40:00.001-05:002010-04-05T13:42:45.073-05:00Victim? Or Victim of Circumstance?It's really difficult to tell yourself that you're not a victim when, let's face it, all roads lead to that conclusion.
I've been on countless interviews in the last 3 months, all of which have proved bullshit and a waste of time. Same can be said for my dating life. Yadda yadda yadda, same shit, different day. Same shit, different YEAR.
Einstein said that the definition of insanity is to do i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-13117349576482099792010-02-10T23:47:00.000-05:002010-02-10T23:47:51.976-05:00Sexting Your Ex (and, other things not to do in a snowstorm)So, I've been snowbound pretty much the entire day, as of much of NYC. For most people this is a welcome treat, but for me, being that I do not work right now, it has been hell. Pure, unadulterated hell. Think about the boredom to end all boredom, and then add infinity to it. That is my day today.
Well, when one is bored, what is one to do? I forced myself to go to yoga, and that was great, buti like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-62473181119146611822010-01-21T22:26:00.006-05:002010-01-24T03:13:25.651-05:00Men of 2009 Part IIForgive me readers, for I have neglected you all and left you in suspense...the Men of 2009 has left you dangling and waiting for more. Never fear, because you knew that I wouldn't let you down...there is PLENTY more to discuss.Truffle ManTruffle Man was the very last guy from crotch.com that I went out with. I decided that no matter how it panned out, crotch.com, perv.com, and the rest of the i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-27578649661319193302010-01-12T21:20:00.015-05:002010-01-12T22:37:35.846-05:00The Men of 2009/Part IAught-nine was fraught with naughtiness, much of which I have neglected to discuss for a variety of reasons.This is definitely late in coming, but what better way to start a new year than to take a look back at the Men of 2009. Some of whom you don't even know about yet! Yes, I've been very, very bad, keeping secrets from you all...but honestly I've been more concerned with my job situation than i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-59163199844566100162010-01-05T13:29:00.006-05:002010-01-07T08:02:41.059-05:00Unenjoyment 2010As I write this I can't even believe that this has become my life. A year of hope for better things has pretty much turned into total despair with the arrival of the new year.Today I spent 20 minutes waiting for a Dept of Labor person to get on the phone and explain to me why my benefits have expired, and why I'm not eligible for the new extension. I have so many questions that nobody seems i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-8671956411373882092009-12-13T10:28:00.004-05:002009-12-15T21:56:32.116-05:00Time Flies When You're Having FunemploymentIf you can believe it, I was laid off from my job exactly one year ago.It doesn't even seem possible that it has been 365 days since I sat in that office, my manager's manager looking everywhere but at me while an HR person that I never saw before handed me a packet and said words that made no sense to me. "Your job has been eliminated."I just saw the movie "Up in the Air", and, as much as it i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-61253444083918932582009-08-26T14:22:00.002-05:002009-08-26T15:04:02.291-05:00It Was Only a Matter of TimeSomething that has been very hard for me to accept as a part-time unemployed person is the idea of losing one's sense of pride.Between the begging for work (yes, it's gotten to the point of begging), and picking up freelance jobs that are so FAR beneath one's abilities and salary requirements, you can't really let your ego get in the way. This also goes for the part-time jobs that you might have i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-43092879741508014292009-07-29T18:54:00.003-05:002009-07-29T19:38:57.335-05:00Once a Firecracker...I find that I tend to blog when things feel like they're going downhill in my life..thankfully, as my infrequent musings have shown, this is not all that often. However, when the downward spiral begins, it feels infinite and awful and I forget all the wonderfulness that has lead up to this very moment. By tomorrow, the spiral will most likely go in reverse, but at this moment, it is endless.I ami like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-371820723449173192009-07-15T20:23:00.002-05:002009-07-15T20:35:43.793-05:00Is This The Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy?So, I have come to yet another realization about myself that has possibly been obvious to all of you for the last however many years you have been tuning into my life, but not so much to me...I clearly have a) commitment issues and b) I live in a fantasy world.I find myself yet again entrenched in a situation that can only go nowhere, yet I spend so much time and energy on it. Admittedly, it is i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-391011880709986042009-06-30T18:17:00.003-05:002009-06-30T18:37:30.077-05:00EpiphanyYesterday was Date #2 with Truffle Man.I was a little bit nervous to meet up with Truffle Man, as I'd had a pleasant time with him on our last date, and didn't want to expect too much or be too hopeful. I also had a hard time with the outfit decision...usually by date 2 I am letting it all hang out (if not already on date 1) but I'm trying to be more demure in my old age, as I've mentioned beforei like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-6132118869246153522009-06-25T22:38:00.008-05:002009-06-25T23:24:42.519-05:00And four days later...So, I reread what I wrote a mere 4 days ago and I feel like this week has had a significant turnaround. Truth be told, not all that much has happened, but I guess when you have absolutely NOTHING going on, a few small events can feel like the earth has shifted.I did NOT get picked to be a juror. Thank GOD. It was quite a hilarious ride though. By day 3 I had developed such a crush on the Keith i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-570338059549829172009-06-22T21:15:00.004-05:002009-06-22T21:42:48.052-05:00Treading WaterI'm having a really hard time deciding if my life is going to get decidedly more exciting, or if it's just all going to blow up in my face in a big and bad way. Or neither. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, being that I've been coasting for the last six months or so and don't really have anything to show for it, and therefore need to hope and pray that I end up with something magnificent before Ii like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-35873349362733121162009-06-16T11:26:00.003-05:002009-06-16T11:59:27.900-05:00I'm So PreciousSo. Self-improvement has begun. The workouts have been jacked up. The late nights have been curbed. The job search has been back in full-swing. Creative projects are coming out of my ears. Dating has been put on the back burner-my bike is slowly replacing food/sex/booze when I'm bored/antsy/sad/fill in negative emotion here.All good things. All very, very good things.Except the dating being put i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-47542760973620099812009-06-01T22:39:00.004-05:002009-06-01T22:53:48.195-05:00Is this the End or Just the Beginning?Remax1 (my high school boyfriend) just gchatted me for the first time in a while...I probably haven't talked to him in a few months, which isn't abnormal, but there was a brief time where we were so happy to have reconnected after 20 or so years that we were logging on nightly and having clandestine gchat rendezvous.At any rate, he asked me how things were going, and I mentioned that things on myi like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-45931736927080153372009-05-14T00:50:00.003-05:002009-05-14T00:55:18.615-05:00Deja VuThis night was the same as the other nights. Yet different.Different because, I remember there was chasing. Chasing down the street. Him, chasing after me. What a difference that was.If it wasn't so fucking comical, it would have felt empowering. Yet it wasn't. It was sad."You're not attracted to me. You don't love me." I had said it all before. And yet again."I do love you. I am attracted to i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-88185160455157862562009-04-18T10:55:00.004-05:002009-04-18T11:19:29.834-05:00Making Sense of it AllOne of the recurring themes in my life, as well as this blog, are my unrequited feelings for you-know-who (if you don't know who, then you haven't been reading long enough, and too bad, cuz I removed almost all the posts about him for safety's sake) (I know, I'm so hospitable. Welcome to my blog). I hear myself talk about it, I read what I write about it, and honestly, I have to say, if I were i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37736717.post-38640746810176877782009-04-12T21:07:00.004-05:002009-04-12T23:16:05.207-05:00April Showers Bring...Lots of Stuffit's raining, it's pouring...What the fuck have I been up to since you last heard from me? I mean, the last few posts have been quite the downers, eh? Even I was scaring myself...but that's what too much time on one's hands will do to a person, or so I've heard.Events from the last few weeks:-Attended an open mic with Remax 2 after deciding that we needed to start performing...me, some spoken i like cheesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03901398940146593274noreply@blogger.com3