I'm So Precious

So. Self-improvement has begun. The workouts have been jacked up. The late nights have been curbed. The job search has been back in full-swing. Creative projects are coming out of my ears. Dating has been put on the back burner-my bike is slowly replacing food/sex/booze when I'm bored/antsy/sad/fill in negative emotion here.

All good things. All very, very good things.

Except the dating being put on the back-burner. I mean, yes, that is a good thing. Not worrying about men and their needs and wants and desire or lack thereof has been extremely beneficial to my well-being and sanity, to be sure. Of course, my libido is raging and girls still have their own needs...which battery-operated boyfriends can only help fulfill to a certain extent, let's face it.

I never said I wanted to be a nun, for fucks sake. But that seems to be the direction that I am headed.

There's this guy who appears in my yoga classes from time to time. The first time I saw him I had to do a double-take as he looked SO MUCH like someone I was involved with last year, my heart literally pounded out of my chest when he walked in the room. When I finally calmed down and realized it wasn't who I thought it was, I allowed myself to enjoy the view (this guy definitely shares a similar look to my past paramour, but is actually much, much more attractive).

Since that first viewing, Yoga Guy has been in a handful of classes with me. Everytime, I crush on him just a little bit more. Harmless, right?

Yes, until last week, when he plopped his mat next to mine one morning and I decided that this must be a sign for me to engage him in scintillating conversation. Because wouldn't it be great to have "our story" be how we met in yoga class? Instead of on a dating website? Or at an orgy?

How to do it was a different story.

I spent the hour strutting my Vinyasa like a peacock, perfectly flowing, flexing and twisting for his benefit. You know, in case he happened to be checking out my moves. I'd never been more graceful or in perfect form, and I was pretty sure he noticed and was, in fact, highly impressed with my yoga prowess.

At the end of class, I found myself lingering, sitting on my mat, seductively pulling on my socks. He was also lingering, rolling up his mat, getting his stuff together. I had to say something, it was now or never.

I half turned to him and tried to say, "That seemed harder then usual, huh?"

I think what came out of my mouth was something like this: "meh, fow coo nom ma". And even more frustrating, I sort of muttered it. To the open air in front of me.

He looked over at me and sort of half spoke to me back, "Uh...yeah?"

He then turned away.

Note to self. Communication skills with random guys need brushing up. Stat.