Everybody's Got One

Last night I attended the Bandaid Crush's birthday dinner.

I was really flattered and excited to have been invited, since I am a relatively new friend. It seemed like quite an honor to have been included. I was a little nervous, however, as I don't really know any of his other friends, as well as his ex-girlfriend was going to be there.

A little background info on Bandaid Crush...he and his live-in girlfriend of 3 yrs recently (last 3 or 4 months I think?) broke up (initiated by him) but they have remained really good friends. Additionally, he is semi-involved with a woman who lives in another city, who he met through work...but he is "just not that into her" (he's actually told me this). Lastly, there is a woman he is devastatingly obsessed with who he used to date...who he has tried to remain friends with but I guess his feelings get in the way (sound familiar? Remax2 redux!). In addition to that she went lesbo and is now dating another woman. So he's got quite a bit of lady drama swarming around him, to say the least.

Of course, I always forget these things when I am alone with him, because when it's just he and I, it's like no one else exists as far as I'm concerned.

I walked into the restaurant, a little hesitant at first, until Bandaid Crush saw me and got up to greet me, giving me a big hug and a kiss. He led me over to the table, where 8 strangers sat, staring at me, wondering who the hell I was.

I recognized his ex-girlfriend, P Diddy, right away, you know, from Facebook stalking and whatnot. She was just as adorable in person as she is in pix. She actually knew who I was (score-it means he talks about me!) and the two of us became fast friends, much to Bandaid Crush's chagrin. By the end of the night, I knew quite a few secrets about him that I'm sure he could have lived without me knowing.

I introduced myself to the rest of the table and settled in for the night. I happened to be sitting next to Bandaid Crush but I noticed right off the bat that he was spending a lot of time with his head turned in the opposite direction, and then finally, he just got up and moved to the end of the table, where he was completely mesmerized by whoever or whatever was going on.

I sort of felt insulted, not that I should have..I mean, I was not there as his date, and it wasn't just me he was ignoring...he was ignoring the ENTIRE TABLE of birthday goers, and no one seemed disturbed by it, so I let it go and buddied up with his ex and flirted with his cute friends.

He did eventually come back to his seat next to me, but his attentions were definitely somewhere else...I couldn't really put my finger on it, because the only people sitting on the other side of him were these two women, both named Dr Han, who arrived together..

And then it dawned on me. One of the Dr Hans was his Remax2!

I didn't even realize that he was still that good of friends with her that she would have come to his bday party. And it didn't even register that the "friend" that she arrived with was her lover, the other Dr Han. What really gave it away was, his behavior reminded me of ME...I flashbacked to a couple Sundays ago when I had some friends over for the Superbowl. Remax2 arrived, and it was like nobody else was sitting there in my apartment eating my 7 Layer Dip and watching my tv...including Bandaid Crush! I completely ignored the entire room of people and stood in my kitchen with Remax2, hanging on his every word, making him drinks, making goo goo eyes at him.

It was hilarious to say the least, but once I had this epiphany during dinner, everything clicked into place, I could relax and really enjoy the rest of the night, knowing that Bandaid Crush was too far gone to rescue from himself, and my only function in his life at this moment was that of a new friend and nothing more.

At the end of the night, he and I took the train home together and he could not WAIT to get my opinion..."That was her! That was my Remax2!" he gushed.

Poor guy. I hope he knows what he's in for. Because having a Remax2 is really nothing to brag about.