I've got a friend coming to visit that I haven't seen in probably 6 years or so...we reconnected on Facebook last year and she decided she was overdue for a visit. Which is really cool and I'm excited to see her.
However, being in the contemplative mood I've been in of late, of course her visit stirs up so many things within me, as well as she is going to make me see friends of ours that I sort of snuck away from long ago, for reasons that I can't really explain.
D, like me, is single and fabulous. Our mutual friends, who she is going to drag me to lunch with over the next few days, are married, with snotty little kids and homes in the suburbs. As I haven't seen or talked to these people in several years, not only am I going to have to sit down and go through my entire 8 yr break up and Beehive breakup, I'm going to have to regale them with my dating nightmares so they can all "live vicariously" through me, their crazy, single friend. Look at Cheese! She's like our own personal Carrie Bradshaw! How quaint!
Except that the minute they turn their backs, they are going to snicker at my singleness. It's going to seem sad, I'm going to seem sad. My eggs are shriveling up by the second. I live alone with my cat, in Brooklyn for God's sake. How oh, so very sad.
Sometimes I agree with them. It does seem sad. But if I wanted what they have, i would have settled for the wrong guy, 20 years ago. Just like they did. And THAT, to me, is sad.
Of course, I can just tell them that I've become a lesbian since they last saw me. See how they like that.
On a sort of related note...since my life has become sort of meaningless and empty...I've been looking into some volunteer abroad programs. Not the Peace Corps or anything like that, but something that would send me away for a couple of weeks, a month. Just to get me the fuck out of here, out of this rut, out of my boring job, out of my boring mind.
Anyone out there done anything like that? I'd love to hear about it.
3 comments:
I too have been that person, single and full of tragicomic attempts to mingle. But like you said, any old slob can get married and have kids. Then they can't go off and volunteer abroad. That sounds awesome--I think you can find some of those programs on Craigslist. There's one where you go save turtles in Central America or something.
Even though I've done the married/kids thing (and still hope to get married again someday if the right person comes along), I too feel like some of my friends look at my dating experiences with a mix of "oooh! that sounds so fun!" and "Oh, THANK GOD I don't have to do that." Two friends of mine once told me they wanted to go to a speed dating event with me. I explained it would be socially unacceptable for married people to come along (at least I think so)! I felt like they wanted to watch us like people on a safari!
Anyway, I agree that the "living vicariously" bit from friends gets old fast...but every time I look around and think they have it so much better I have to remind myself that many of their marriages/relationships aren't ones I would find satisfying, or I realize that they're not very happy.
As for traveling or volunteer work for a month or two, I say go for it. It sounds like this may be the perfect time for you, and what better way to get more blog material?! Definitely keep us posted.
They're just jealous!
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